- The Small Print -

Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Action figures sold separately. Batteries not included. Instructions are included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy machinery. This is neither an offer to sell nor an offer to buy. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. If condition persists, consult your doctor. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on base of packaging. Subject to change without notice. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike please check tickets. Colours may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms, which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. Colours may vary from those shown. For office use only. Edited for television. Keep cool. List was current at time of printing. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating retailers only. Penalty for private use. Do not write below this line. Falling rock area. Lost ticket pays maximum charge. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Just add water. Contents may be hot. Sanitised for your protection. Be sure each item is properly stowed. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. Call now for your prize winnings. No purchase necessary. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Don't play on or around. Replace with same type. Tick here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include VAT. This announcement appears as a matter of record only. Not recommended for children under 3 years of age. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. Part of a multipack, not for individual sale. List at least two alternate dates. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Light blue touch paper and stand well back. Do not fold. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my imaginary friend, Simon. All rights reserved. You may distribute this article freely as long as my name stays on it but you may not make a profit from it without talking to me first. Terms are subject to change without notice. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. No substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. No cash alternative available. This web site is void where prohibited, or otherwise restricted. This web site is provided "as is" without any warranties. Reader assumes full responsibility. This is an equal opportunities web site. Quantities are limited only available while stocks last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service centre. Read at your own risk. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-household. No Deposit required. Some assembly required. No additives or preservatives. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue reading. Read in a well ventilated room. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from naked flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs. Smoking this web site could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial colour or flavouring added. If you've got this far reading this, you really need to get out more. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a doctor. This web site is ribbed for extra pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating web sites. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. As a natural material, this web site may contain imperfections such as creases, hair follicles, and scars, which add to the natural beauty and lustre of this product. Other restrictions may apply.